


Internet Machine Broke

by Enjoysfall11



Category: Devilman (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Akira is too innocent for his own good, Crack Fic, M/M, Ryo is uh Christian for some reason?, Spoilers, They do it, Why I shouldn't write stuff when I'm bored, dubcon, everyone is ooc, this is so stupid, why did I write this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-11
Updated: 2020-07-11
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:20:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25203100
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enjoysfall11/pseuds/Enjoysfall11
Summary: My internet went down one day so I wrote this to pass the time.  CRACK/TROLL FIC AKA don't take any of this shit seriously pls.
Relationships: Asuka Ryo | Satan/Fudo Akira
Comments: 2
Kudos: 44





	Internet Machine Broke

_________________________________________________

It was a... Actually, it was not really that great of a day. The weather was humid and fucking hot which were kinda the same thing, but yeah and oh, also, it was partly cloudy just enough to be annoying. As the normal and not mentally ill people would say, "The weather is so bipolar today lmao." That is problematic.

Anyway...

Akira was your average 18 years old (yes that is totally his real age, don't look it up or anything,)

Except for the small fact that he was half-demon or some shit. But, you know, besides that, he was pretty average.

Alas...

"Ryo!!!" Akira cried as he threw open the doors to his best friend's fancy apartment. "Something terrible has happened and I need answers NOW!"

Ryo, the sexy and totally not evil blond just entered the room casually as if this was a common thing that happened to him. "Whatever is the issue Akira? Make haste because I have very important things to look at."

"I didn't know you could get paid to look at things," Akira stated confused.

"Yeah, it's a very important job and not just anyone can do it," Ryo responded haughtily, twirling a wine glass in his hand.

"Where'd that wine come from?" Akira asked.

"Don't worry. Tell me what's wrong?" Ryo demanded smoothly.

"Oh yeah. Ryo, the demons that have invaded our precious earth have finally crossed the line!" Akira began angrily, wringing his fists. "They have taken our internet away! "

Ryo's wine class dropped to the floor and shattered into a million pieces as glasses tend to do.

The blond no longer looked calm, he now had a look of pure horror on his beautiful features.

"This is just fucking horrible!" Ryo began to rant in English. (Fun fact: In the Japanese dub, Ryo apparently talked a lot in English, which is pretty funny if you ask me.) "Now how will I start fights on Tumb*r!?"

"I know right? Tell me what to do Ryo!" Akira continued to cry in desperation as he ran over to the blonde and hugged onto him to dear life. "I don't think I can make it without the internet! It's like an alcoholic giving up drinking cold turkey, but worse, probably!"

Ryo smacked Akira across the face. "Get a hold of yourself man! Humans have gone without the internet for various years and they got along pretty fine if you ask me."

"H-How could you say that Ryo?" Akira gasped in disbelief. " Without the internet, we might as well be dead! Dead I tell you!"

" Nonsense. I'm sure the demons had nothing to do with it," Ryo said in a reassuring voice that sounded more like a psychopath trying to attempt emotions. " Maybe it's the weather? Anywho, you should just do something else that doesn't require having the internet."

Akira just hummed and stood there for at least 5 minutes trying to think of something fun to do without the internet, but he just couldn't figure it out. This is so hard!

Ryo just blinked in bewilderment when he saw that his friend was seriously having a difficult time finding an answer. God, he was just an idiot. A cute idiot. No, Ryo...You mustn't let him know, being homosexual was totally a sin and not right, but yet...He couldn't help it, and well when was the last time he cared about sinning anyway?

"This is just impossible," Akira sighed heavily, rubbing his forehead in pain. "Ryo, you're pretty smart, why not just give me some advice in this trying time?"

Yes, this was perfect! Ryo coughed into his hand in an attempt to hide the eagerness on his features.

"Well, I might know a thing or two that we could perhaps do while we await the internet to return."

"Okay! Lay it on me!" Akira grinned excitedly, happy for any kind of entertainment at this point.

"Alright, but let's go into the bedroom first," Ryo suggested hurriedly as he began to walk towards it.

"Uh, why?" Akira asked, confused.

Ryo paused for a moment and hummed. "You're right, it doesn't matter where we do this."

"Yeah!" Akira cheered randomly even though he had no idea what he was cheering for.

Ryo proceeds to return back to where Akira was standing and gripped onto his shoulders and gazed intensely into his black eyes with his blue eyes. Then, softly, the blonde said: " Akira, let's fornicate."

"...Hmm, what's that?" Akira asked with a frown. He could only imagine it was something violent and crazy considering Ryo's past.

"Oh, Akira, you moron. Allow me to guide you," Ryo chuckled softly before roughly shoving Akira onto the large white sofa which was totally there all this time.

"What are we going to do on the sofa?" Akira asked innocently, ignoring the pain in his spine.

The blond didn't answer as he removed his white button shirt, throwing it across the 1,000 sq ft room. The instant it fell to the floor, Jenny appeared in her human form and folded it neatly before disappearing. Akira just chooses the ignore that for the sake of his fragile sanity 

"Don't ask," Ryo commented with a tsk of disapproval before stripping off his pants and underwear, making sure to place them neatly on the floor as to not be interrupted again. Now, he only stood in his black briefs with flames on them.

Akira was still confused, what was going on? "Ryo, why are you getting naked? Are we going into the pool again?"

Somehow, the innocence that Akira held only made Ryo more aroused though it should be the opposite, I digress. "We are going to fuck."

Akira gasped. "Ryo! We can't!"

"Why not?" Ryo asked bluntly as he jumped out of his briefs. "It would be like, cool, Akira."

"But, it's just weird! We've known each other since we were kids and...I don't know, I've always kinda considered you more like a brother than anything." Akira tried to explain, his face burning red now seeing his friend fully nakey. "Also, I like Miki. She has tan lines, Ryo! Tanlines!"

"I do not care," Ryo answered honestly before flopping down on top of Akira who grunted under the weight. "You have no choice really. You will be mine rather you like it, or not. I've been good to you, haven't I? Don't I deserve something in return?"

"You murdered like, 10 people in the club the other night," Akira pointed out blankly.

" So I've made a few mistakes in the past," Ryo rolled his eyes, not caring a bit about such trivial things. The blond began to forcefully remove Akira's clothes seeing as he wasn't doing it himself.

"No means no, Ryo!" Akira whined as he weakly struggled, but he didn't want to be mean to his friend and maybe accidentally hurt him which he could do if he really wanted to, but he didn't.

The weak struggling only fueled Ryo's horniness, he smirked deviously as he realized that Akira was holding back at his own will, which meant that he was totally going to get laid now for the first time in his long life. (Don't judge!)

Akira finally sighed in defeat as he stopped struggling, by now his shirt had been tossed aside for Jenny to retrieve and now his best friend was eagerly working on removing his pants. He was giggling and acting more like an animal than anything, but somehow, Akira couldn't find himself to get really mad.

"Okay, Ryo...Y-You uh...You win," Akira murmured embarrassedly now, his blush showing up even on his tan skin. "Just uh...I don't know, be gentle or something."

Hearing this, Ryo paused his assault and pouted slightly. "You don't put up much of a fight, do you? Too bad, I liked it better when you were struggling it. it excited me so. Oh well. I suppose consent will have to do..."

Akira chose not to respond to that to appear brave, but this soon ended when he felt the cold air on his nether regions. Ryo had successfully gotten him naked as the day he was brought into this world. He didn't want to admit it to himself, but it felt sorta nice feeling Ryo's bare skin against his.

Sure, this wasn't the first time they've been naked together, but that was during more innocent days. Er, well as innocent as Ryo wanting to kill animals days...

"For a person resisting so much, your body seems to be acceptably eager," Ryo commented smugly as he was stroking Akira's fairly large member in his hand, making his captive moan softly. "My how you've grown."

"Stop talking so much and j-just get it over with..." Akira grumbled, trying to choke back any noises of pleasure. No, he couldn't let Ryo know he was kinda gay for him too. Though, the proof was all there...

Darn it!

"No, I think I'll keep talking," Ryo remarked stubbornly, loving the sound of his own voice, but that was no secret. Then a pause. "However...I suppose for this next part, I will have to be silent..."

"What do you mean?" Akira questioned suspiciously, but quickly got his answer when he felt Ryo's warm and wet mouth engulf his dick. "OH SHIT! ugh, I mean--OH GEEZ!"

Ryo ignored Akira's antics as he slowly rolled his tongue around the tip of his friend's cock before moving lower, trying to figure out just how much he could take. Turns out, he could take it all. Maybe being not human had something to do with this skill. Ryo didn't question this as he continued pleasuring Akira, mimicking all the porn and hentai he would watch on his downtime.

Very fast did Akira realize he couldn't hold back his moans, Ryo was just too good, but he was good at everything it seemed. So, he allowed himself to break the facade of being angry and instead, got drunk on the sensations his best friend was providing to him. " Unf, Ryo, t-this is too much..."

Ryo resisted the urge to laugh as he knew this was just the tip of the iceberg. it was difficult to make any vocal noises when you had an organ shoved down your throat though, so instead he just began moving faster despite Akira's pleas of slowing the fuck down. Damn, he never knew how good Akira tasted. He needed, no he wanted more.

Then, something almost better happened. Akira placed his hand on Ryo's head.

Oh man, that meant he was doing good! He loved it! The praise! The feeling of being the best!

Akira bit down hard on his lip drawing blood, he whimpered. " R-Ryo, please, I-I- I'm going to explode!~"

Seconds later, Ryo felt seemingly boiling cum erupt into his mouth and down his throat, but he pushed through the pain and happily swallowed it all like a gamer chugs down Mountain D*W. Alas, even he couldn't handle it after it just kept coming up after a minute. Damn, Akira wasn't fully human, how foolish of him to forget such a dire fact.

"Gah!" Ryo yelled as he fell back and coughed violently, trying to catch his breath, but it was a task when your lungs were filled with semen. Oh well, he still loved Akira despite this flaw.

Thankfully, Akira finally stopped ejaculating and fell back, looking like a dead fish from exhaustion. Ryo crawled back over to his friend and smacked his face again. "Get back up. I am not done yet."

"W-What else could you want?" Akira breathed out. "Ryo, please, can't we just cuddle?"

"No." Ryo refused like the hypersexual angel he was. "It's my turn now. Surely even you know the manners of having sex?"

"Umm...N-No," Akira lied, blushing in embarrassment.

"Yeah right," Ryo scoffed, not believing his friend even for a second. Perhaps Akira wasn't so innocent as he appeared to be. "Akira, you will either provide oral sex to me, or you will fuck me. Or both. Either or is acceptable to me."

"Ryo, pleas-"

"NOW!"

"Okay..."

Sulking slightly, Akira managed to sit back up and awkwardly pushed Ryo down to his back, although it was more like a gentle breeze than a push. Always the gentleman even during such naughty acts. Being a devilman had its benefits, for instance, Akira quickly gained another erection in record time. Only certain porn stars had such feats.

Seeing this, Ryo grinned like the psycho he was and spread his legs invitingly. "Penetrate my ass, Akira!"

"Oh gosh," Akira muttered nervously as he positioned himself between the blond and pressed himself slowly inside as to not hurt either of them. Akira was sure he was forgetting something important, but he couldn't remember.

"Mmhm, the pain and pleasure I am feeling are incredible," Ryo moaned loudly without shame, reaching up and wrapping his arms around Akira tightly. "Fuck me hard you cute moron!"

Akira wasn't sure if he liked being called such names, but he chalked it up to Ryo being insane with lust and slowly began awkwardly thrusting in and out, this was all new to him, but he would try his best for his friend...Even if he was batshit crazy.

As the insane gay sex went on, Akira felt the pleasure growing inside him once more as he moved faster and harder as Ryo had demanded, both males groaned and moaned in unison. Ryo scratched his perfectly manicured nails down his friend's back, hard enough to break the skin, but Akira didn't even notice as he was too focused on the ecstasy him and his friend was giving him.

Alas, there was a real concern. What would happen when he orgasmed? Would he kill Ryo? No, he didn't want that! There was no way Ryo would survive this unless he was careful and pulled out in time. Yeah, he could totally do that! No problem!

After a few more minutes of doing the devil's tango, Akira felt his second orgasm arriving fast, so he began to pull away, but to his sheer horror, Ryo wrapped his slender legs around him, trapping him like some sort of fucked-up venus flytrap.

"R-Ryo, no!" Akira cried out in both pleasure and fear.

"You're going nowhere, Akira!" Ryo panted heavily and laughed. "You will cum in ME! Fill me with your seed like the low wanton slut I am! You have no choice! Come on, give it to me Daddy!"

Akira roared aloud with betrayal and unlimited pleasure as he climaxed hard inside his deranged friend. The blond seemed very pleased with himself as he continued cackling evilly as he felt his inners being filled with the hot fluids. It was like having an enema only more awesome.

However, Akira didn't share in that joy. He just closed his eyes and frowned sadly as he couldn't cry for himself, but if he could, he would be sobbing in disbelief and depression as he knew for sure his friend was as good as dead. Death by cum overdose... What a terrible headstone. It would be all his fault!

After Akira felt himself stop, he nervously cracked open one eye and prepared himself for the worse, but to his shock and relief, Ryo seemed to be fine if not a bit roughed up. The blond just laid there with a satisfied expression like the cat who caught the bird.

"Ryo? But...Shouldn't you be dead?" Akira asked quietly, glad his friend wasn't dead.

"I'm too important to die," Ryo explained with a genuine smile, his usual caring self returning. "It's all right Akira, I'm fine now. You did great."

"Oh, Ryo!" Akira cried out in joy as he swooped down and hugged his friend tightly. Ryo just patted his friend awkwardly on the back in an attempt to comfort.

After a few minutes of after sex cuddling, Akira suddenly remembered the original reason he even came there. "Hey, I bet the internet is back on! It has to be!"

Thus, Akira jumped off Ryo, leaving the blond feeling cold and unloved, as he dug through his pants and fished out his cellphone. Full of hope, the tan male opened his phone and observed. However, to his horror and disappointment, the internet was still gone. Nowhere to be found.

"I wanna die..." Akira murmured in an empty tone as his phone slipped out of his hand.

Seeing his beloved Akira suicidal, Ryo finally offered an actual solution. "Akira, do you know what a hotspot is?"

"Ryo, please, now isn't the time for sex. This is serious," Akira grumbled in annoyance.

"No, you misunderstand. A hotspot is an option on most cellphones, it can provide its own internet signal," Ryo explained calmly holding up his phone. "It would be better than nothing."

"Why didn't you just do that from the start?" Akira questioned warily.

"I didn't think about it until now," Ryo lied flawlessly as he tapped at his phone. "Okay, it should be on now. "

Overjoyed, Akira picked up his phone again and saw that the wi-fi signal was on. Excited, he clicked on Yout*be to test it out. It loaded for a minute which was expected, but after the page didn't pop up, Akira slowly lost his smile and then, the worst thing ever: No internet connection page. Little t-rex.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!" Akira screamed to the high heavens as he transformed into Devilman and burst through the ceiling in pure rage. Ryo just stood there looking up at the large hole in the ceiling with a calm expression.

In space, Devilman flew up to the sun and punched it for good measure. It burned, but otherwise, he was fine. Eventually, Devilman returned back to earth and in Ryo's destroyed apartment. Akira had returned back to his human form, but he was still pissed.

"Something wrong?" Ryo asked simply as he sipped on some tea and had all his clothes back on somehow.

"Yes, something is wrong! The hotspot won't work either!" Akira shouted in despair, punching the floor. "This is a nightmare..."

"That's odd, it should be working. After all, I have the most high-tech and expensive hotspot there is," Ryo bragged with confusion. "Well, that does it. I have no other choice, but to go to those internet people and kill them all."

"Um...I don't think to murder the people who provide our internet is the best idea..." Akira pointed out timidly.

"For once, you are right. Okay then, I will go to the internet people and threaten them with death if they do not fix the internet." Ryo replied with a smirk. "Yeah, that will totally work."

"All right, I suppose that is a step-up from homicide," Akira agreed hesitantly, twiddling his thumbs.


End file.
